Advantages of Fidelity



MORNING PRAISE
March 18, 2020
Wednesday of the Third Week in Lent
Memorial of St. Cyril of Jerusalem
Advantages of Fidelity | Deuteronomy 4:1, 5-9
PERSONAL REFLECTION
Feelings of being left out; feelings of stagnation; feelings of uncertainty. Those were the dominant feelings I had as of my last morning praise. I was at such a low point in my discernment journey (at least for the second semester), and it felt like I couldn’t possibly go any lower than that. As the days unfolded soon after, I was unfortunately proven wrong.

Memories of a traumatic experience from my teenage years came back to haunt me, after having been forgotten for two decades. With the emergence of Covid-19 cases, the stock market crashed, and I lost (and continue to lose) a painful sum of money from my pension fund investment. Then, the first few Covid-19 cases were announced in my city, which reminded me that our household consists of two senior citizens (my parents) and a minor (my niece) who had her fair share of sickness and hospitalization in the past. And then the lockdown happened, which meant that we have to stay here at home, potentially having more time in our hands that we can handle.

I cannot pretend that I am not affected by all these things that are happening. These past few days, I have noticed that I am increasingly becoming absent-minded – my autopilot mode seems to be uncharacteristically unreliable with everything that is going on. My mind wanders as I go about my tasks, constantly barraged by thoughts that sabotage my will and dampen my spirit.

“Where is God in all of this?” we are constantly invited to reflect.

These days, my encounters with God from my past experiences of pain and sufferings had been what’s keeping me afloat. Sure, these difficult times are not something I’ve gone through before, but I nevertheless find myself firmly rooted in my faith that God is in control; that He is with us, listening to us as we groan in pain; suffering with us; holding our hands as we make our way through the darkness and uncertainty. I find myself continually awed by how this faith is so much bigger than me; how firmly I cling to it no matter distracted or absent minded I become; how I constantly look forward to God’s consolation even if He’s been too quiet and unresponsive to my pleading for His felt presence during these difficult times.

Faithfulness. Fidelity. These words come to mind when I think about my image and personal encounter of God: a God who is faithful; a savior who is reliable; a Father who keeps His promises. But all of these traits will not mean anything if I stop at trying to enrich my relationship with Him, especially in the face of adversities. And so as it is in the selected reading today, I would like to believe that the invitation for me, especially during these sanity-challenging times, is to keep and observe God’s words the best way I can. And also, to be very careful not to forget his faithfulness and fidelity, and proclaim it through the way I live my life. For this, I beg for the Lord’s grace. 

 Amen.
Thought for the Day        

 “Boredom is the disconnected life, filled with thousands of different words, ideas, thoughts and acts which seem like so many pieces of garbage in stagnant waters. Boredom, which so easily leads to depression, often can become a pervasive feeling, a creeping temptation, difficult to shake off. It is in this perspective that a mature, religious sentiment fulfills a creative function. Because it has a unifying power, it brings together the many isolated realities of life and casts them into one meaningful whole.”          - Henri Nouwen

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Final Entry

Image
  This will be my final blog entry. The image above is a word cloud generated from a compilation of all my morning praise reflections as a Jesuit candidate in Arvisu House. I was blindly taking on this word cloud project, genuinely curious about what my reflections would reveal about the entire experience. It makes me happy that in the end, data reveals that God is at the center of it after all.  Make no mistake: it still makes me sad that I was rejected  not accepted to become a Jesuit novice, but I am fully convinced that God had His hand in that fateful decision. In his subtle way, I would like to think that He prepared me for it -- making me realize, especially in prayer during my final days there (Arvisu House) that He had always been with me, and nothing is bound to change that.  Nevertheless, as I continue to anticipate what He has in store for me, I continue to be disoriented, not knowing what to do with my life in the midst of this awful pandemic. This Covid-19 plague is reall
Read more

The Good Shepherd

Image
MORNING PRAISE | May 04, 2020 |  The Good Shepherd |  J ohn 10:11-18 PERSONAL REFLECTION If my  Arvisu  journey were a Korean drama following a standard season of 16 episodes,  I would have already been starting episode 1 6  by now: that  calm and quiet stretch  where the climax had been  completed , and the open ends of the story are already being  tied up , in preparation for the  inevitable  finale.  N ew story arcs or plot twists  no longer surface ;  and  no new characters  are  being introduced;  instead, conflicts big and small are being resolved and closed, marking with it the signal for characters to leave the storyline one-by-one.  These days, I often find myself looking back at the discernment  drama  that I have lived for the past 289 days: the struggles, the pains, the joys.  I thought that being alive for 38 years prepares you fully for this epic story, but apparently it does not. For the storyline  was  brimming with unexpected plot twists and unpredi
Read more

Jesus' Departure

Image
MORNING PRAISE | May 22, 2020 | Jesus' Departure | John 16:20-23 PERSONAL REFLECTION One December evening in 2005, our television’s reception of ABS-CBN was unexpectedly, almost miraculously clear, and this allowed me to watch JesCom’s tv movie called “ Maging Akin Muli .” I never fully grasped back then how this serendipitous moment would turn out to be a decisive moment in my life: for it will apparently mark the beginning of my vocation discernment journey, which, as it turns out, will be one crazy adventure spanning almost 15 long years. Nine days from now, just like each one of you, I will be handed a letter which contains a confirmation of how that 15 years of discernment will come to an end. It’s amazing how much is at stake in that one decisive morning – the coming to an end of a 15-year journey; the conclusion of ten months of adventure in this sacred house that I have learned to call “home.” Much like most of you, I have no idea how that moment will turn
Read more