Jesus' Departure

MORNING PRAISE | May 22, 2020 | Jesus' Departure | John 16:20-23

PERSONAL REFLECTION

One December evening in 2005, our television’s reception of ABS-CBN was unexpectedly, almost miraculously clear, and this allowed me to watch JesCom’s tv movie called “Maging Akin Muli.” I never fully grasped back then how this serendipitous moment would turn out to be a decisive moment in my life: for it will apparently mark the beginning of my vocation discernment journey, which, as it turns out, will be one crazy adventure spanning almost 15 long years.

Nine days from now, just like each one of you, I will be handed a letter which contains a confirmation of how that 15 years of discernment will come to an end. It’s amazing how much is at stake in that one decisive morning – the coming to an end of a 15-year journey; the conclusion of ten months of adventure in this sacred house that I have learned to call “home.” Much like most of you, I have no idea how that moment will turn out to be: will I suddenly transform from being a Jesuit candidate to an incoming novice? Or will I instead find myself back in the drawing board, trying to figure out what I should do next, empowered and burning with the desire to love God and His people in whatever capacity suits me best.

Our lives are peppered with decisive moments such as these: the accidental stumbling on a tv movie that can jumpstart one grace-filled adventure; the opening of an envelope that contains words that will change one’s life forever. And yet what we need to realize is that the decisiveness in these moments do not rest in these moments alone, but in the moments that lead to them. For life is a string of decisive moments that come one after the other, each one defining the next available range of options that have the power to change our lives forever.   

In today’s gospel, as Jesus starts to say goodbye to his disciples, perhaps driven by separation anxiety much like us these past few days, Jesus tells them that joy will come to them: joy that cannot be taken from them; joy in being one with the Father. And yet before that joy comes about, grief, mourning, and weeping must also come, much like anguish in labor must be endured before partaking in the joy of new life in childbirth.

Joy will surely come into our life after the announcement of our application results. This joy will emanate from God Himself, who will reveal to us finally if He is one with us in our desire to be Jesuits. But perhaps, just like the disciples, we too must undergo some form of pain and agony in the meantime – for the possibility of permanent life-long goodbyes; for the heart-stopping uncertainty of the future; for the imminence of potential heartbreak; for regrets over the things we’ve said and done; for the things we could have managed better; for the better endings that could have been. 

And so this morning, I beg the Lord to stay with me in these final defining moments here in Arvisu House, so that in the midst of all the anguish, grief, and pain, I may continuously see that everything will eventually lead to that decisive space and time where Him and I will finally be one.

Amen.

      

Thought for the Day        

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” - Rumi