The Song of Ruth
MORNING PRAISE
February 28, 2020
Friday after Ash Wednesday
The Song of Ruth
PERSONAL REFLECTION
“You okay?”
A few days ago, somebody asked me that
question: “You okay?” The only response I can come up with was an awkward, bad
joke: a futile attempt at humor to dispel the worry and concern that this good
guy seemingly had. It was all I can come up with at that moment, because in my
heart, I knew that I was not okay.
Before Arvisu, I have always shielded
myself from valuing people too much. I kept my guard at all times and I’ve
protected myself from feeling too much for people because I did not want to
feel vulnerable. Who wants to be vulnerable, anyway? And so I rarely opened up,
even to my closest friends – and this helped me live in a fantasy world where I
am emotionally self-sufficient and therefore I did not have any need to make any
deep emotional connection with anyone.
Arvisu changed that, but the tragedy is
that just as I found myself finally connecting to people in deep, profound
ways, separation reared its ugly head and took away two guys that I have
learned to really value and treasure. And while I understand that my journey is
not the same as theirs even if our paths crossed in Arvisu, seeing them go
through their pain makes it difficult for me to make sense of what happened.
June and Romuel – how many times have I done
them wrong?! Do I have a part in how their Arvisu journeys have ended? Do I
have blame to share for what happened to them? What could I have done? What
should I not have done? Why are they being taken away from me? Am I being
punished? Now that they are gone, should I venture into deepening my
relationship with those who are left here and risk being hurt again?
During my SD session with Fr. Bill, I was
reassured that the pain I am feeling now is a pain that is beneficial, for
after all it is a pain that comes from pouring my heart into something that was
worthwhile. And so I am holding on to this as I maneuver my way through this
difficult episode; as I try to view this experience through the lens of
gratitude.
And so today brothers, I would like to beg
for the grace to be grateful in the midst of pain; gratitude for our days here
together; forgiveness and healing for the hurts that had been caused both ways;
openness to fortify the ties that we already have; and undying faith and hope
in God’s love, compassion, and companionship -- no matter how confusing and
uncertain some days can seem to be.
In a special way, I would like to pray for
June, Romuel, and yes, let’s throw in Paolo Antonio to the mix – may they always be
comforted by the God of consolations as they continue their discernment journey
outside Arvisu; and may they further desire to never leave His side, and walk
in faith wherever He may lead them.
Amen.
Thought for the Day
“Our great tendency in this age is to increase our speed, to run faster, even in the Christian life. In the process our walk with God stays shallow, and our tank runs low on fumes. Intimacy offers a full tank of fuel that can only be found by pulling up closer to God, which requires taking necessary time and going to the effort to make that happen.” - Charles R. Swindoll
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