No One Can Determine the Right Time to Act

MORNING PRAISE
December 11, 2019
Wednesday of the 2nd Week of Advent
No One Can Determine the Right Time to Act
Ecclesiastes3:1-15



A few months ago, somebody asked me what advise I would give my tattered, depressed, self-loathing 25-year old self. The answer came quick: “Arvisu will happen.”

“Arvisu will happen.” It’s amazing how much power those three words wield. Because my 25-year old self would have gladly suffered through everything I was going through and everything else that I had to go through if only for the certainty that someday, twelve years down the road, I will find myself giving up so many things for the opportunity to discern the possibility of the religious life as a Jesuit. I probably would have been a far happier person while waiting. I probably would have been more prudent with my actions. I probably would have loved more deeply.

On the flip side, however, I would like to think that the 12-year wait that led me here has given me a far better sense of how it is to trust in God’s appointed time. For everything that I had gone through, including, and especially the wrong turns and the detours needed to be undergone to get to where I am now.

Now that I am about to enter a milestone in my discernment journey, I have come face to face with the reality that while I was so sure that I had to at least apply to become a candidate, I cannot say the same for what is going to happen next. These past five months have been fantastic in that they have helped me process and understand so many things about myself, but they have also opened my eyes to the challenges that lie ahead. It scares me, and I am scared that because I am scared, I might make the wrong decision (if I would be asked to make a decision). 

And so as I prepare myself for the discernment retreat, I would like to believe that the invitation is to trust and believe that God will continue to unravel his plans for me in His appointed time, just as he did when he appointed my candidacy this year instead of twelve years ago. The invitation is to persist and fix my gaze on Him in the midst of all the uncertainties, disturbances, and anxieties. 

Brothers I would like to beg for the grace that the Lord may reveal to me the greater truths that he wants me to see about this discernment journey. I would like to beg for clarity and the ability to turn down the noise that draws me away from Him. But most of all, I would like to beg for the courage to trust in Him, His perfect timing, His enduring love and protection, and the timelessness of His most holy will: that I may be free enough to follow Him, amidst the paths that lay before me, and that I may be filled with hope that whichever path I take will lead me to Him.  

Amen.

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