The Day of the Son of Man
PERSONAL REFLECTION
While watching
“Avengers: Infinity War” last year, I could not help myself but think: If this
whole thing was real, what would have happened to me? Would I have survived the
snapping of Thanos’ fingers? Or would I have been one of those unlucky ones to
suffer through seeing my loved ones turn into dust before my very eyes? It’s a
tragic and scary situation either way.
Today’s gospel
comes with the same terrifying, ominous undertone as Avengers: Infinity Wars. Ang
lakas maka-Thanos ni Lord today, especially that part of the gospel
which talks about the two people in the same bed and the two women grinding
meal together: one will be taken, while the other left.
I suppose
that’s terrifying for me because over the course of my life, I have met people
that I have learned to love, and the mere thought of seeing them taken away
from me is painful. But perhaps what’s really more frightening is the idea that
I will be the one taken away to the vultures. It’s frighteningly more likely,
when I think about it.
These past few
days, I have been getting the sense that my past vices are starting to catch up
with me, just when I thought that my discernment journey was beginning a new
and more advanced chapter. The internal struggle against the desire for money,
sex, and power was so intense that the effort to hold everything in made me
want to vomit.
It scared me, because I know very well how impulsive I can sometimes get. I know how I can go to great lengths to get my way. I know that if and when opportunity would present itself, I just might fall, forget how far and how long I had to wait to get to where I am now, and throw all of that away.
It scared me, because I know very well how impulsive I can sometimes get. I know how I can go to great lengths to get my way. I know that if and when opportunity would present itself, I just might fall, forget how far and how long I had to wait to get to where I am now, and throw all of that away.
But then there
is grace from the Lord, and it came at that exact moment when I needed it the
most.
Just as I felt
that I was drifting away from Him, He embraces me in His arms – in an intimate,
complete, and overwhelming way that could never be matched by any human touch
nor material comfort. He pulls me close to Him, and assures me that He will not
be letting go, especially as I am about to lose my grip on Him.
And so I would
like to beg the Lord that I may always seek His arms of love and find comfort
there, instead of the fleeting sensations and pleasures that the world has to
offer. I would like to beg the Virgin Mary, our mother, to never tire of
interceding for me, amidst my doubts and inclination to distrust. I pray that
she teach me how I can lose my life in order to save it; in the same way that I
pray that she teach me how I can better know her son, Jesus.
Amen.
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