The Renunciation of Vice

SELECTED READING 

The Renunciation of Vice | Colossians 3:5-10

PERSONAL REFLECTION

What could be so wrong about savoring bodily sensations – about indulging in what the body perceives to be pleasurable? What could be so wrong about desiring a promotion, a bigger salary, and more property than your peers? What could be so wrong with unbridled use of obscene language in order to get a few laughs, or embellishing one’s stories to command respect and admiration? What could be so wrong about these activities that God will be angry with us when we engage in these things, that He threatens us with his wrath if we disobey Him and proceed with our old ways?

Viewed through the lens of my pre-Arvisu life, I can guarantee you that I could not understand why God would be so angry when we do these forbidden things.

Reflecting upon my past vices and how I could not understand why God would find them so wrong, I retraced my steps and have come to realize that God, being His omnipresent self, had been there all along as I indulged in these forbidden pleasures. Nakakahiya! It’s so embarrassing! I cringe at the thought and wish for the earth to swallow me whole.

But then perhaps, therein lies the wisdom in today’s reading.

I am reminded of one of my vivid memories as a pre-school kid. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my family forbade me from plugging our appliances into electric sockets. I didn’t understand why, until one fine day when I noticed a pair of metal tweezers (tyane) – that handy tool used to pluck my parents’ white hairs, lying around the house, and how it resembled the two prongs of an electric plug. I was so excited! Surely the prohibition wouldn’t apply to the tweezers as it was not exactly an electric plug – it just looked like one! My heart was racing as the tweezers in my hand moved closer and closer to the electric socket… and then finally, sparks flew… literally. I’ve been told I could have died on the spot, had the current not ejected me voluntarily after several seconds of sparks flying around and violent body shaking due to the rush of electricity into my tiny body.

Perhaps the prohibition and stern warning in today’s readings is coming from a place of genuine parental love and concern from God: so that I do not fall into the self-inflicted shame or pain that comes with my sins; the same way that a parent forbids a defiant child from plugging electric appliances, because the child can inadvertently electrocute or even kill himself in doing what is forbidden.

I would like to believe that I am being warned against vices not because God is waiting for the next opportunity to punish me. Isn’t it that the shame that comes along with sin is a self-inflicted punishment in itself, as I shove God away from me, when all along I proclaim how I love God with all my heart and all my mind? By any measure, falling into sin and committing these vices does not reflect the love for God that I profess – for surely one does not show his love for someone by being unfaithful to the one whom he loves, much more commit these acts of unfaithfulness right in his presence.

As I continue to live my life here in Arvisu, I would like to believe that at the minimum, the invitation for me now as I try to love God in a very special way, is to trust in the Lord and follow His ways, even if at times, they may be difficult to understand. And so I pray for the courage to let go of my vices as today’s reading tells us; and beg the Lord to grant me the wisdom to acknowledge that a step away from the vices of my old life is a step closer towards Him whom I want to love “in a quite absolute, final way.” 

Amen.