The Parable of the Talents
SELECTED READING
The Parable of the Talents| PERSONAL REFLECTION
When I found out I will be
assigned to the Kalookan Mission Station for the apostolate, I was immediately
anxious. Seeing how some priests are being shot in broad daylight during the
mass because they are seen as meddling too much in affairs outside the realm of
the church, I couldn’t help but fear for my safety and that of everyone
involved in the ministry.
On our first Sunday, during our
orientation at the mission house there, we were told that the prevailing
sentiment of the community was that of fear — hence, out of fear, they are
inclined to believe that addicts deserve to die. We were also told that there
seems to be a brewing depression epidemic among the local youth. Being told how
deep-seated these issues are, and how troubled the community is, I try to think
of ways to be of help, but cannot think of any. I couldn’t help but fear that I
am inadequate for the task at hand.
During the communion, I saw a
woman crying tears while in deep prayer. I saw her doing so again on our second
Sunday. I do not know for sure what she is going through, but I do know that
she gives a face to the turmoil that the community is going through. There is a
very palpable need for something there, in that woman’s tears. To me, that
woman is a very clear manifestation that the community needs help, and it would
be nearly immoral to turn a blind eye to it, now that I have seen it up close.
And yet, I couldn’t help but fear that my fears might lead me to choose the
easy way out: to do nothing; to be indifferent.
In today’s gospel reading, we
hear of the servant who, out of fear, did not do anything to the talents that
was given to him. In him I see our normal experience of how fear screws us up —
fear stuns us, renders us immobile, leads us to freeze and makes us incapable
of doing what we are supposed to do. Fear makes us lose sight of the arsenal of
gifts and graces that we have at our disposal to battle the very thing that we
fear. When we let fear take over, we become paralyzed and just wait for the inevitability
of defeat.
In 2006, Fr. Weyms Sanchez, who
was then a Jesuit scholastic, replied to my email where I confided to him some
of my fears in relation to my discernment. He said: “I’ve said this to you
before, do not let your fears get the better of you. Just face them, give them
a face and a name, and they will begin to lose their power over you. When God
calls, He will do whatever it takes. You just have to believe.”
Those words have consoled me
then, and continue to console me until today. And so this morning, I have taken
the opportunity to not just name my fears, but name them publicly so that they
may soon lose their power over me. Yes, I fear for my safety, I fear that I am
inadequate, I fear that my fears can lead me to indifference. But today, beyond
naming them, I am offering these fears, among many others, and even your fears
to the Lord — in faithful hope that He may purify them and in so doing, grant
us all the courage to respond to his invitation to travel with Him in this
vocation discernment journey.
Amen.
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