The Journey with Teddy

SELECTED READING The Parable of the Talents|   Matthew 25:14-30 PERSONAL REFLECTION​ When I found out I will be assigned to the Kalookan Mission Station for the apostolate, I was immediately anxious. Seeing how some priests are being shot in broad daylight during the mass because they are seen as meddling too much in affairs outside the realm of the church, I couldn’t help but fear for my safety and that of everyone involved in the ministry. On our first Sunday, during our orientation at the mission house there, we were told that the prevailing sentiment of the community was that of fear — hence, out of fear, they are inclined to believe that addicts deserve to die. We were also told that there seems to be a brewing depression epidemic among the local youth. Being told how deep-seated these issues are, and how troubled the community is, I try to think of ways to be of help, but cannot think of any. I couldn’t help but fear that I am inadequate for the task at hand.

SELECTED READING The Rich Young Man | Matthew 19:16-30 PERSONAL REFLECTION The moment it sunk in that I am finally a candidate living here in Arvisu, it became so easy for my Accountant instinct to kick in, and meticulously conjure a list of the very many things that I had to give up just so I can go full time in this discernment journey. This mental list ranges from epic things like the security of my monthly salary and the comfort and love of family and friends, down to the terribly trivial things like not having to share the toilet and bathroom with anyone, and the liberty to lounge the day away in my condo, wearing my most precious tattered sandos.   Not to be outdone, my risk manager persona so readily reminds me that all these things had been given up without the assurance of getting anything economically concrete or tangible in the end, nor the promise of getting accepted as a Jesuit. Costs and risks considered, I delight in the idea that I am a far better perso

Nangungusap ang iyong mga matang Walang sinasabi At batid kong piniga ng iyong karanasan Ang ligalig na sana’y iyong ipinamamalas. Ninakaw man ng panahon Ang iyong amang pinakamamahal, Dalangin ko’y matuklasan mo Na ang iyong buhay ay magsisimula pa lamang At ang pag-ibig ng Diyos sa iyo ay hindi magwawakas kailanman. * I met Vin Leio and his mother on our first day in the apostolate. He is a young boy afflicted with tuberculosis of the bones.  Depressed by the death of his father a year ago, his health started failing. He has a hole in his chest, resulting from another medical condition.  His mother had been taking care of him, as she tries to make ends meet through their small sari-sari store. 

SELECTED READING The Rejection at Nazareth | Matthew 13:54-58 PERSONAL REFLECTION Rejection is painful, even more so if it is what comes out of exposing ourselves and allowing ourselves to become vulnerable in the hands of another. The months leading to my application and eventual acceptance to Arvisu House had seen me struggling with what could be the most painful rejection of all in relation to my vocation discernment journey.  Someone told me that I should give up on this discernment because I am just too old for this. I had been told that I think too highly of myself to even consider that this will ever work; that I am not good enough to become a priest, much less to become a Jesuit. I had been told that this is the height of hypocrisy, that how I had been living my life is a glaring testament as to why I should never be accepted. As you could imagine, I was hurt by those words, but what’s more painful is that the words came from someone who knew me too well. Those w